I blame myself
by xoxo-jeanetteluvsalvin-xoxo
Summary: Just read the story. I suck at writing summaries, and I'm not even going to tell you what it's about.


**I blame myself**

**I can't tell you what happened to 'her' until 'he' recalls the phone call. Please read everything, and every detail. If you skim, then you WILL miss some important parts. No, this is not based off a true story. I had an idea, and I completely regret this story. Please don't be mad at me. By the way: It's set during their junior year. They aren't the CGI characters; They're the old ones.**

**Alvin: This writer does not own me or my brothers.**

**Brittany: She also doesn't own Dave, Miss Miller, or my sisters.**

**Eleanor: All characters belong to Ross Bagdasrian and Janice Karman.**

**Dave: This writer only owns Jason, Matt, and Aaron.**

**Theodore: The writer is truly sorry about this story.**

To this day, I completely blame myself for what she did to herself. I can't take it back now. She's gone. There were so many things I wanted to tell her and do with her. I never even got to say that I loved her. I still do love her. I can't believe she'd do something like this. I mean, I can't believe it. She was so sweet, so kind…and smart too. More like intelligent. We had tons of things in common with each other. She liked physics, I liked science. The day I used the time machine for Alvin was the day I saw we were supposed to be together. I knew it from day one. I knew that she was 'the one.' But, then…'it' happened.

_Thanks to Alvin, I was hanging out with a few of his friends, who were surprisingly pretty smart. I saw her picking up her books that Aaron had dropped from her desk. She looked up at me, begging me in her eyes to help her, but I couldn't. Jason stopped me. He grabbed my arm, and made me sit down. I wanted to help her so badly…I really did. I saw her crying. I wanted to cry too._

_Matt said to her, "Hey, crybaby! You gonna cry some more? Huh? You gonna go home to your mommy? Is your mommy gonna make you feel better? Waah! Waah! Boo hoo!" They all laughed at her. _

'_Jerks.' They all looked my way. I guess I had to say something about her. Well, this was my one chance…my one chance to actually be someone, and since this was my junior year, I thought today would be the day…_

"_Hey, little baby! Why don't you cry some more, you little baby!" The guys all laughed at me. I looked over at her. She was crying even more. I felt my face go red._

"_S-Simon…If I could describe you in one word…that would be a…a bully." She ran home. I ran out of school and straight home, too. 'Great. Now I'm a jerk.'_

I still remember the phone call I received that faithful day. It was at seven o'clock, which was when Brittany, Eleanor, and Miss Miller came home from the store.

"_Hello?" I asked._

"_Simon? Is this you?" It was Miss Miller. I could tell by the way she talked to me that something was wrong._

"_Uh, yeah, it's me. Why? Is something wrong?" I asked worriedly._

"_It's Jeanette. She committed suicide."_

_I gulped. 'No, this has to be some mistake. Yeah, they're playing a trick on me.'_

"_Simon? You still there?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Look, I want you to come over here. She left a note for you."_

"_I, uh…ok." 'Okay…maybe this isn't a joke after all…'_

_I went to the Miller's house and sat on the couch. Miss Miller gave me the note. It was in fact from Jeanette. I read it:_

_Dear Simon, _

_ Look, I know that you called me a baby to be cool around your friends, but what you said was wrong. I thought you cared about me, Simon. If you really cared about me, you would've stuck up for me. You would've helped me with my books. But, that…that was mean. I can't believe you, Simon Seville. And you know what? I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I actually like you. Yeah, I do. But, now I don't. So, I'm doing this so I can get out of your way. Apparently, you don't like me, so I think it was stupid of me to even like you. So, I'm getting rid of everything I have of you. My Simon doll that I used to kiss goodnight, the Valentine's Day card you gave to me, and heck, even the stupid science fair ribbon that you said I could have. Take them. Take all of them. I hate you, Simon. Goodbye._

_ -Jeanette_

I still have all those things. Yeah, I kept them, in memory of her. I love her. I just wish we could've been together. Just like the future…we always wanted.

**I'm sorry! Really, I am! I want to take it back, but it came to me like a fly comes to food. It's weird that I'm comparing this story to a fly and food, isn't it? Again, I'm terribly sorry, it came to me, I wrote it, and…yeah. So, review pretty please!**


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